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I should also note (thanks to Ben in the comments for pointing this out) that it is normal to be in a relationship and occasionally look at other people in a sexual way, but not to the extent that people who make this “You’ll want to experience sex with other people.” argument suggest.
They argue that you’re going to have this deep, nagging pull towards sexual variety that will corrode your current relationship, unless you exorcise that demon earlier in life through lots of pre-marital sexual experiences. Here’s an example: Let’s say you’ve been married for ten years.
More often than not, waiting till marriage is much more of a personal decision than a spiritual decision.
And if it’s not, waiting till marriage because you want to conform to the values your favorite church preaches. If you want to make it past age 18 without caving on your decision, you’re going to have to come up with much more internal reasons to wait in addition to your spiritual reasons.
One day, while out for coffee by yourself, a devastatingly attractive stranger starts flirting with you. According to what I’ve studied of Relationship Science (Psychology applied to relationships), the answer to this question depends on how satisfied you are with your marriage.
They will say things like “Did you know that the word ‘virgin’ had a different meaning when the bible was written and it doesn’t actually mean that somebody hasn’t had sex before?You would do wheelies, hit the breaks and skid sideways to a stop, jump off ramps — all kinds of stuff.That first bike probably got more attention, focused learning, and experimentation out of you than any other bike thereafter. I’ve never given much weight to this objection, but I’ve heard it more than once.” Does that sentiment even come close to what you feel when you think back on those memories? More likely, you could picture yourself kissing that person and only that person for the rest of your life, if it hadn’t all gone to hell (assuming you broke up).
The same people who say “you’re going to want to experience sex with lots of people” are also the ones who will say that “kissing can be as intimate as sex,” so this kissing example holds with their logic, IMHO.Sex is like martial arts: it is a skill that improves the more you practice and the more techniques you learn.